A New Year, A New Me

posted in: family life, mom stories | 0

Wow. It’s been awhile. I didn’t think I’d vanished that long. Life has been busy I suppose. We’ve officially moved into our new apartment, though it’s a long ways from being put together. We have a few places finished off, small oases if you will, and others that still need lots of work. The girls’ room always looks like a hell-hole so it’s hard to tell where we are with that. So we plug away slowly, a little bit each night, reminded again and again of how much we worship “stuff” though we have tried hard to declutter and let go of so much already.

 

This week I started the CrossFit Fast Factory 45-day Challenge. I’ve been feeling pretty terribly about myself for awhile, learn to tolerate my new Photo Jan 09, 12 36 14body but inevitably fall back into self-loathing. Finally it seemed about time to either give up bitching about it and feeling bad and embrace my double chin I’m growing or do something about it. It didn’t help that my CrossFit friends mentioned it to me when I was slightly intoxicated on New Year’s Eve- you know, that slight buzz you get where everything sounds like a good idea.

So, now I’m hangry (hungry + angry), sore, but slowly seeing changes in the scale and my endurance already- only a week in! Yes, I can eat all the protein and healthy veggies I want, but it’s not the buttered toast, pasta, pizza and other things I love. Saturdays are my “day off” and I get a free 12 hr pass to eat whatever I want. Oh, I have a list already- too long to even mention. Coffee with creamer- oh delicious creamer- is top of my list.

Photo Jan 12, 11 39 20Do I love it? Well… that might be stretching it, but I am enjoying the comradery and the encouragement I feel from the Fast Factory team and my friends and family. I am enjoying putting myself first, being able to eat without guilt, feeling accomplished, and hell, I’m sleeping real good at night.

 

And So it Goes

I’ve started a few blog posts here and there, but alas, I never seem to finish them. Sorry. Life here has been hectic and slow all at the same time- if that makes any sense. Today I am home with my darling Bear as she is sick. Poor thing. She has been battling some severe constipation for well over a month now. Today she awoke with stomach cramps, vomiting and a fever. I’m watching her closely hoping it is your average stomach flu and will help to finally clean her out… Send her some prayers, won’t you? Her spirit could use them.

 

stiril-tools-819719_640Work has been wonderful! Besides being a school nurse I am apparently a part time counselor *wink*. It is sad to hear some of the struggles that bring kids down with stomachaches and headaches more related to their stressful home lives than illness, but I am glad to be an ear. I have never felt so loved nor gotten so many hugs! More than a few of the little kids have stolen my heart. It has its days where it is hectic and their seems to be copious amounts of vomit everywhere, but luckily I have an iron stomach! My coworkers are great and have made me feel oh so very welcome and appreciated! It’s a fun little job and allows me to work the same hours and days as my kids. They get a week vacation- so do I! Its a great mesh, though some days I come home feeling ragged and the laundry looms ominously high in the baskets. Oh how I dread laundry.

 

Nights have been sleepless, but I am so blessed to have a hubby that puts up with my sour moods and indulges me once in awhile letting me have the bed to myself and lock the door to keep the kids and critters at bay! Hallelujah! Besides work being tiring some days and the lack of sleep we are gearing up to move! We are taking a bigger apartment in the same location- not much of a move, but still a royal pain as everything must go! We need just a bit more space for our two beautiful yet RAMBUNCTIOUS girls that need more space to play, especially when winter rolls around and we begin our MN hibernation phase. Hopefully this lovely weather holds out- I will be praying hard against snowstorms and such; it’s not personal.

 

The girls turn 7 next week and so I’ve been busy in the evenings working to finish their present. I’m making them a hand-drawn color book: The ABC Reasons Why I Love You.  Most of the pages will be the same (thank you Xerox!) but they will each have a handful of unique reasons/images. Don’t tell! It’s a secret! It’s really cutting into my craft ADD I have. No embroidery, no coloring book pages, no sewing, no nothing! Just some time with a good book here and there and THE Book of course, but no time for much else. Now you know why my Holey Socks page has been so bare!

 

Anyway, that’s about it for now. Nothing exciting, just life.

Still Here

diary-968592_640No fear, my friends. I’m still here. It’s been nearly a month. Yikes! What can I say. Nothing I suppose other than I’ve been distracted. I’ve been distracted by my very good friend, words. Words in the books I’ve been reading and words in the stories I’ve been writing. I’ve been writing quite a bit lately and it’s been a glorious release. With no current orders for custom portraits and no other projects eating away at me to be created, I’ve been free to play with words.

 

Besides the simple pleasure of it, it has been a remarkable way to connect with my husband. It’s funny. He isn’t a “reader”. He’s struggled with reading all his life thanks to some undiagnosed dyslexia which has sucked out much of the ease & joy from books. That isn’t to say he doesn’t read, just that it isn’t an all encompassing hobby for him like it is me. Knowing this, I had asked him if he wanted to read some of what I had been writing, however I didn’t expect much to come from it. Boy did he show me! He came back to me a few days later with a couple pages of notes and questions. I was awestruck as he described my characters back to me with amazing insight and brought forth some worthwhile critiques and criticisms. My eyes got all watery. There was something about being able to put these words on “paper” and have my husband recite how these words affected him and the picture they created in his mind- it was validating. But more than that it was amazing to see him take it, take ME and my passions, so seriously. To dedicate himself and invest himself in it for me was beyond touching. I felt heard, loved, valued and understood. So I have been continuing to write, picking up my laptop whenever I can, and he has been continuing to read them as I send them his way, and we have been continuing to talk. Life is good.

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I’ve been distracted by work- I recently moved from being a para at the girls’ school to working the nurses office. Bloody noses, stomachaches, ear pain, headaches, and all sorts of other aches and pains have become my day to day. It busy but nice. Usually everyone is pretty excited to see the nurse- in their own way anyway. It’s been hard to build boundaries with the girls who are excited to know that they can pop in and see me whenever they like, though they can’t really see me whenever they like- ya know?

 

The days have been monotonous despite the fact that I am building my own new adventures everyday when I type. There really hasn’t been much to share here since I’m so busy sharing stories, ideas, emotions with my someday, Future Readers. Don’t fear, there will be more soon. Things to share and say. Until then… Bye!

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