My New “Book”- Mamas Poop Too

 

Here are some things you must know before I go any further

  • I don’t know about you, but my brain never stops. Never.
  • I zone out a lot. I mean, like, a lot. Eating, doing the dishes, sitting at red lights. My kids call me out on it constantly.
  • I share too much. As my husband likes to say, I have no filter (maybe because of THIS post). Apparently funny when it’s just the two of us, not so funny on the internet (I disagree *wink* I’m always funny- SEE! I wrote THIS! ).
  • I like to sing made up songs. Lots of times for my kids. Lots of times when I am looking for something- I really believe it helps me to locate things faster.

 

Okay. So there you have it. Each one of these strange facts plays a crucial role in my new book.

Okay, so it’s not a “hey, I’m actually going to publish this!” sort of book but a (while zoning out) “wouldn’t it be funny to write a kids book that goes like this?…” kind of book.  Enjoy:

 

looMamas Poop Too

by Kelly Meyer

copyright © 2015 Kelly Meyer

 

Hey Addi, hey Lili, Billy & Tom!

I have something to tell you about your mom.

Sometimes while you play on the floor

she sneaks to the bathroom & locks the door.

Why? Because mamas poop too.

 

Now’s not the time to ask for a snack,

mama has a bowel attack!

No, she cannot tie your shoe

or give you something fun to do.

She doesn’t care who hit who first

or who is being just the worst!

Why? Because mamas poop, too.

 

Now hold on! Don’t go banging on the door!

Let me tell you a little more…

Sometimes she goes in their to sob,

particularly when you’re an angry mob.

Other times it’s to curl her hair

or just have some peace & quiet in there.

Sometimes it’s just because mamas poop too.

 

No matter why she goes to hide

to this one rule you must abide:

The bathroom is her safety zone

where she can go to escape your moans.

Don’t yell, fight, or even grump!

Sometimes mom’s have to take a dump.

Yes, mamas poop, too.

 

Your mama poops, too.

Yep, just like you.

So give her a little peace & quiet

from your whine- just try it!

Eventually she will come out

and if you don’t scream and shout

 

and give her time to take a shit

I promise you she won’t quit,

leave, or just escape you.

It’s true! Mamas poop too.

 

 

 

Well? What do you think?!  

If you can relate to being that mom trying to “just do your business” and can relate to the endless streams of knocks, fights and odd requests PLEASE SHARE THIS!  If you’re a mom and can NOT relate- well, I want to hear from you! What’s your secret…